Your Dreams

(Hi. I’m the guest writer. And I plan to tear you down week after week. OH YEAH!)

I’m not talking about your aspirations and your desires; no, you keep those to yourself anyway. What I cannot stand about you is the way you talk at me about what fantasy occurred on the inside of your eyelids last night.

Yes, I said talk AT me.

I don’t CARE that you were running in a jungle full of noodles that resembled your Grandma with your pants around your ankles when you were flying solo. I also don’t care what it means, what YOU think it means, or what you did after the dream. Try to see it from my point of view: I don’t care about you…r dreams. They don’t do any of the following:

  • Enrich my life
  • Make for interesting, exciting conversation
  • Make sense

Besides, what do YOU think when I tell you about MY dreams? Oh yeah, you do what a normal person does: you stop listening halfway through and start daydreaming. And, what even worse is that you might want to tell me about those DAYdreams, which is still the same thing. I don’t want you to riff off my the dream I just told you, I don’t want you to think I care, and most importantly:


Wait, I was in your dream? Oooh, go on….

(Bonus points if you had a dream involving that noodle jungle)
(+1 Super Bonus if you’re a guy and added an extra “noodle” to the jungle. Heh heh heh hehhh…)

Photo Credits: Here


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