(On this week’s Your Things That Need To Die, I’ll be examining a person I feel strong disapproval with. I’ll be addressing them personally. This may or may not become a common occurrence. I’ll have more of your annoying things later.)
Oh, come on, Lady Gaga. Or would you prefer Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta? I’ll be honest with you: I’m really not a fan. The disgustingly obsessive song lyrics coupled with awkward and ungainly “costumes” aren’t really doing it for me. It’s time you stopped with the weirdness and produced something decent.
Why do certain people admire your music? I could guess Auto-Tune, but I’ll really never know. Besides, does the music even come first for you? Seemingly not, as you’ve claimed to MTV news: “When I’m writing music, I’m thinking about the clothes I want to wear on stage. It’s all about everything altogether—performance art, pop performance art, fashion. For me, it’s everything coming together and being a real story that will bring back the super-fan. I want to bring that back. I want the imagery to be so strong that fans will want to eat and taste and lick every part of us.” As you claim, it’s really more about looking pretty than doing well. Or being licked. I’m not sure. You must have been hungry during your interview.
And really, who are you appealing to? The music companies who just want to slap “Lady Gaga” on a product or record to make more cash? Your music videos are lewd and nonsensical, and your lyrics are more like annoying sounds than words. The worst part may be that they’re catchy, too. You’ve made other people sing your drivel around me: I hope you feel badly about this (for those of you who sing around me, I’m going to get back to you soon, oh don’t you worry).
You are appealing to only the most misguided and angst-filled members of society, while to the rest of us are stuck enduring your stupidity and social strangeness. I’m not saying you should conform completely, I’m just saying to dial it back a little. Maybe try to produce something that resembles actual music for once.
On the other hand, producing actual music might be a risky career move for you. But who needs fans when you can have clothes?
In short, you are an absurd waste of time and costume designing. Stop polluting my radio-waves.
I hope the Queen had an awful time meeting you.
You, Lady Gaga, need to go away for a while. Far away from me at least.