Your Serenades

When you sing to me, I get chills.

This is not a compliment. It means that I am so horribly appalled at your lack of singing ability that my skin would rather crawl off somewhere to die than be subject to the sound waves you’re emitting. This type of unprovoked behavior is unwelcome. Not only are you attempting to sing, you usually start off without any pretense. I don’t even get a “Hi” from you, you just start singing. What happens during Karaoke Night should stay there. I don’t really know how to stop you, either. So, this blog post is dedicated to the words I couldn’t get in edgewise over your cracking, straining voice.

I’ve often heard you say that you’ve just gotta sing it so that you can get the song out of your head. It doesn’t work. In fact, more often than not, it infects those around you if the song is catchy. Your singing is like a disease, and not the kind that parents huddle children in a room to catch. Its a festering, annoying, scratchy, and deafening virus that I can’t seem to build up an immunization from.

So, take this advice: If you are a good singer, please oh please god, at least give some warning before you sing. Not only is that the polite thing to do, but maybe it will even enrapture your audience to listen. If you are a not-so-good singer: Give the same notification, but don’t be shocked if you start to see some people leave. Again, it’s just polite. And another point for you to take into consideration: Not everyone is going to like the song you do, so if they tell you to kindly cease and desist, don’t plow forward with the crappy song. Save everyone some heart-(and ear-)ache, huh?

And remember, if I want you to go sing on American Idol and you don’t follow the above guidelines, chances are I’m watching my TV waiting for your vocal cords to get demolished by some rowdy, drunk, British judges.

Not that I watch American Idol. It’s kind of like listening to you sing: annoying, repetitive, and sad.

Let Your “Serenading” Die Painfully. I suggest laryngitis.

Photo Credits: Here


One response to “Your Serenades

  1. NOU! Good post.

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