Your Handwriting


I’m not saying that my handwriting is impeccable. In fact, part of the reason that I like to type is because I’m embarrassed of my handwriting sometimes. But you?

I didn’t know that the “Handwriting Proficiency Scale*”, a rating from one to ten, went into the negative numbers. But you’ve proven that it does. I don’t like the term chicken-scratch, but I honestly don’t know how else to classify that mess you’ve just left on the page. What did paper ever do to you? Did it cut you one day? Maybe you are trying to get even by making dark, uneven, and crude slash marks across it. Sure, pass them off as letters, but I can see through your lie.

Not that I’m entirely sure I could understand you if you put it to written words, however.

You could blame your ineptitude on society “getting away” from writing and going to Tee Ex Tee-ing. I blame your ineptitude on your failure to try or even make the slightest controlled effort to accomplish something as simple as creating a legible word. You could also argue that writing has become obsolete, EVERYONE types now. Well, not true. A failure to communicate effectively in ANY sense is a crippling weakness of character. How would you like it if fodfrl dctedaf bvofk? Not a whole lot, right?

And let’s talk about your cursive. I’m sorry, WHAT cursive? For you younger folk, I’ll bet that you just about spawned an underwear chocolate factory when you saw the cursive agreement on the SAT that you had to replicate. Or, when you were impressed into doing calligraphy on the wedding invitations. And your signature? I’m sorry, but THAT’S A LINE. With a hill at the beginning. Awful.

You and a whole lot of other people need to go into a room and slowly, step by step, trace some good handwriting. Maybe you even need to start back at Big Letter Ville, full of crudely drawn, 3 inch tall A’s and B’s, just so you can get the motions down. But what I think would help you most?

Just put some time into it. That’s all. Just a few extra seconds to space out your words and letters, erase your mistakes, and make it look neat. If you start being unable to read your own handwriting, well, you’ve got problems.

Let Your Handwriting Die. I’ve ordered a thousand gallons of White-Out, ten thousand erasers, and a box of shiny new pencils, just for you.

*Not a real thing. Remember, I’m here not to yell at you, per se, but to voice your personal gripes against other people. Take it easy and just redkxsaledc maskf a little, okay?


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One response to “Your Handwriting

  1. You think you have seen bad handwriting? Mine is so bad that if I write fast enough it literally turns into one wavy line. Oh, and the best part? I can still read it. xD

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