Mediocre Movie Theater Mules

Tired of the tacky, tiny treats behind at the refreshment stand? Only one solution exists: Bring your own food! But, in a world where ushers and manufacturers want to preserve profits, they’ll stop at nothing to prevent your precious parcel’s passage!

Alliteration and cinematic trailer references aside, sneaking food in is a popular way to enjoy moderately-sized candy. You may unintentionally bring something in, like those purse mints, or you may be hiding a 3-course meal on your person.

However, some people aren’t very adept at disguising their dietary delights. It’s interesting to watch someone adjust their hat when Plop! out falls a sandwich. Maybe you try and tuck that bottle of soda in your interior pocket when you’re in line, only to earn an evil eye from the ticket seller.

I’s pretty easy to get food in during the winter months, where loose, warm clothing is common. However, I’d like to see someone smuggle in a Ring Pop in skin-tight shorts.

Not a euphemism, by the way.

So, boycotters of substandard foodery! Get creative! That’s not a bunch of Red Hots stuck to your face, it’s acne! That’s not a box of doughnuts in your shirt, it’s your own built-in shelf! If you’re sly enough, almost any consumable is fit for transport.

The rest of you, enjoy your popcorn.

Bon appetit!

Let Mediocre Movie Theater Mules Die

Photo Credits: Here


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