Over a period of two weeks, I collected information from people on ChatRoulette (which I will be calling CR for the rest of this article). My lone question was simple: “If you could get rid of anything in the world, what would it be?”
…This survey was a mistake.
Before I post the results, I’ll tell you some things I learned from the experience as well as my collection methods.
First of all, I’ve learned that 90% or more of CR users are male, and 65% of them are unafraid to show off and manipulate their genitals in front of random strangers. Encouragingly, however, a recent news article says that CR plans to have a better reporting system to remove these phallus phonies. Not that I’ll be back to check.
Anyway, after saying hello and whatnot, I would pose my singular question, get the answer, and be on my way. Originally, I intended to collect the results of 500 people. After losing a substantial amount of hope, this number decreased to 200. Then 100. So, I have 39 results to share with you.
At first, when webcams weren’t required, data collection was pretty easy. When they were required, however, I had a challenge to face. Literally. Whenever I would simply sit and type in front of my machine, I would be passed over very quickly by the stranger on the other end. My cunningly good looks and glowing, pasty white skin tone must have scared them off.
So, I devised a persona to stand in for me. Here he is:
This handsomely mustachioed face had a wee bit more success, but it still didn’t garner many more survey answers, so my time expired with such the low number of responses.
Anyway, the moment you’ve all been waiting for……the responses!
1 My Roommates Girlfriend
1 My Tattoo
2 Penises on CR
1 Child Poverty
1 Osama Bin Laden
1 Not Sure
1 Going to school in order to “contribute to society”
1 People Who Don’t Use Their Blinkers
1 Long Distance Relationships
That’s right, the thing that got the most votes was me for asking my question. Gotta love people who take a moment to insert some infantile humor while scavenging for…melons.
All responses are provided verbatim.
So, yes, people of ChatRoulette, I am thoroughly disappointed. Except for Merton. He’s pretty fun.
Let ChatRoulette’s Overwhelming Abundance Of Mediocrity Die
Photo Credits: ME!