Buffet Style Restaurants

Easily confused by menus? Don’t like social interactions with wait staff? Well, there’s good news for you! Buffet-style restaurants eliminate all that pointless conversation and allow you to pay a flat rate to enjoy a meal! Here’s some of the many benefits:

  • Lack of Portion Control Take as much or as little as you want! Your only limitation is the size of our still-damp-from-the-washer plates. So, feel free to go back for seconds! Or thirds! Or sixteenths!
  • Heat Lamps Nothing says we care like cooking up a batch of food, and then letting it sit in the open air, warmed by a single bulb. Customers of all heat-sensitivities can find a large range of temperatures, from stone-cold to lukewarm!
  • http://skinbeautifulblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/buffet1.jpgUnderstanding Others – “It’s okay if the foods touch” is our middle name! Yes, you’re completely at the mercy of those who’ve come before you today, as their droppings create new flavor sensations! Try some Lime Jell-O in creamed corn, ham cubes in tomato soup, or even cross-contaminated salmon and beef parts!
  • Sharing – Sampling food is like meeting someone new. Buffet-style restaurants offer you the chance to meet many people, as all of them have touched the same set of tongs and ladles without properly cleaning their hands first. So you can enjoy the pure, unadulterated essence of someone else’s microbes! A potential aphrodisiac!

And remember, nothing says “America” like “All You Can Eat”, so stop in today!

Let Buffet Style Restaurants Die

Photo Credits: Here


2 responses to “Buffet Style Restaurants

  1. What’s wrong with controlling the portions you get? That’s the only upside you listed.

  2. I hate buffets, I always try to stealth my way around people and grab things before they seem overly touched. Its like a food edition game of avoid the hepatitis.

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