When Shampoo Attacks


Naked, wet, and vulnerable, you stand in the shower, continually pelted by beads of water. The temperature is just right, and you’ve taken care of your Daily Scrub Down. Skin refreshed and squeaky clean, you now turn your attention to your hair. You select the shampoo flavor of your choice, and casually pick up the bottle.

At this point, every optic cell in your body subconsciously braces for impact.

Why? Well, they know that a couple things can happen with that container of gel that you hold in your hand:

  • Sticky Surprise – “What’s wrong with the lid?” you wonder as you struggle with the container’s gummed-up contents. Suddenly, a POP! fills the room with sound, just as a fine coating fills your eye with, well, shampoo. Tearing up and stumbling around in pain, you considering laying off the Reflex Guards in Eyelid Station. Worst yet, you still have hair to clean!
  • Oozy Assault – A rogue band of substance departs from your hair and combs the Forehead Plains in search of a target. The tingling sensation they produce on their journey may just be enough to alert you, but occasionally this rag-tag group of marauders will manage to splashdown in the ball of your eye.
  • Rubbing Residue – Placing the bottle back on the shelf, you sigh with relief at a job well done. The bottle opened smoothly, and the ‘poo stayed confined to your hair. Wiping away tears of joy, you notice that your eyes start to itch. And burn. Then, you look down at your hand and discover that your cleaning was not so thorough after all! Sure, you’re clean, but you’re left with the pain and regret of a less-than-ideal showering experience.

Shampoo on your hair can make it silky, smooth, and shiny. Shampoo on your eyes can make your cheeks shiny with tears, and your head full of discomfort. Shampoo attacks may occur rarely, but we warned:

It’s out to kill.

Let Shampoo Attacks Die

Photo Credits: ZUG (Thanks, Mr. Hargrave!)

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