Category Archives: Cyberculture

Tangled Earbuds

Nothing beats relaxing in style – and music can certainly help! So what could be better than taking tiny orbs connected by some thin cabling and JAMMING them in your ears to hear the sound? It’s a one-of-a-kind experience, of course! Just, try not to puncture an eardrum during all that. Wouldn’t want to damage the equipment, now would we?

Problem is, when you’re done with these small implants, what do you do with them? Unplug them from your device of choice and ball them up in some fashion, right? During that, you assume that it’s completely harmless – I mean, they’re just sitting there lazily, doing nothing of importance (much like a certain blog author who insists that he writes on a semi-daily basis)! What dilemma could they ever present?

The very next day, you arrive back at the fabled spot of electronic discard, ready to use these earpieces for another bout of stress-relieving. But lo! for this contraption now has more tangles than an adolescent girl’s bedhead! More mats than a shaggy dog’s fur! More ties than a successful businessman! More knots than a fast-moving sea vessel!

And so you take the next two, three, six minutes, assuming a role as a reverse Boy Scout, trying your darndest to get your gear back in working, streamlined order, thinking all the while that there must be a better way.

Come to think of it — why isn’t there one?

Let Tangled Earbuds Die

Photo Credits: Here


Sensing Your Cell Phone When It Hasn’t Gone Off

Over my self-indulgent hibernation, I’ve been spending a lot of time with a smartphone that I happened to receive over Christmas. It’s a neat little device, and I’m constantly overwhelmed by all the intricacies of it and the Android OS. It’s entertaining, but it’s gotten me thinking about cell phones in general. 

I haven’t had mine long enough to fully conceptualize what I’m going to talk about (which really should say something about how fantastic a writer I am. No, no, please, your thanks are definitely not necessary). Heck, it still feels like an electric shock probes its way into my thigh whenever I get a text message. Thanks, vibrate mode.

However, for the cellularly-adept, the opposite problem seems to occur. “What’s that? Surely that was my phone; after all, people NEED me! I am their lifeblood! They want MY van’s candy! So let my open up this gadget real quick…” and BAM, nothing. Hopes are dashed and disappointment creeps in. Chalking it up as phantom noise, or a mistake in the phone, you go back to your regular duties.

If it only happened once, well, that would be fine. Actually, this process can repeat itself many times throughout the average day, causing a compounding effect with the hopes and disappointment. Especially when you’re really hoping to hear from someone. It’s frustrating, because the fault lies entirely with the device’s owner. The emotional-warhead side of it can aggravate, too. Appearing, at times, like you should spill acid in your ears in order to cleanse this mistaken sensory stimulation.

I can’t wait until I reach this stage. Trust me.

Everyone needs to feel wanted. Unfortunately, everyone wants to feel needed, too.

Let Sensing Your Cell Phone When It Hasn’t Gone Off Die

Photo Credits: Here

Your Obsession With Gaming

Today, something of a stirring event occurred.

Some might say a cataclysmic event, even.

I want you to remember that it is NOT important what level you achieve, what dailies you need to do, or what your rank is. The most important part of the game is you, the player. Take care of your physical self. Have fun in moderation. The permeation of all-the-time gratification in our society should deeply disturb us all. You need to consider things around you, not just a game.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been away from Bejeweled 3 for about 10 minutes now AND I’M GOING STARK RAVING INSANE!

Your Obsession With Gaming Needs To Die.

Photo Credits: Here

Your Ravings About an “Amazing” New Shooter

It can’t be worth losing sleep over. But I wouldn’t want to rob you of your enjoyment of the game.

In fact, seems some people find enjoyment in robbing the game itself.

What, you, a contributor to a material society? It’s more likely than you think.

Your Ravings About an “Amazing” New Shooter Need To Die

Photo Credits: Here

Annoying Advertisement Addendum Three

Third time’s the charm? Eh, maybe not.

“Is this ad relevant to you?” – As much as I appreciate the gall you have, Hulu, to want simple survey data to influence advertisers (and I’m guessing future targeted ads), I’ve yet to really see ads relevant to me. Maybe the product or service seems interesting, I’ll grant you that, but usually the style in which that item is conveyed? Nah, no dice. If you’re really wonder, I only look forward to a few ads each year, such as the Garmin Christmas commercials, and Super Bowl Advertisements.

Pushy Periodical Placement First it was the annoying cards that fall out of the magazine. Then, it was the “shorter than all the other pages so it’s harder to avoid” trick. Now, I’ve noticed some publications (I’m looking at you, PCWorld and Reader’s Digest) have advertisements that are physically part of the cover. And I’m talkin’ full-page stuff. PCWorld’s ad was attached by that fun, rubbery glue stuff that you can play with after you peel off the offending ad, with a real cover beneath. The advertisement on Reader’s Digest, however, was a fold-out on the cover – in order for it to be removed, one would need to cut or tear off the section.

Cunningly Covering ‘Close’Well, I supposed these ads don’t cover the button, but they instead force the close button to “load”. Because, clearly, that makes sense – the ENTIRE ADVERTISEMENT would load faster than all of a 10×10 pixel ‘[x]’ button.

While the ads may not get on my nerves sometimes, the new ways in which they are being presented certainly can.

Let Even More Annoying Advertisements Die

Photo Credits: Here

Your Unwillingness to See an Issue from Another Side

Because it’s your ignorance and strange ability to remain uninformed that is truly the most harmful and detrimental to those around you; in comparison, your slurs and complaints pale.

Your Unwillingness to See an Issue from Another Side Needs to Die

Photo Credits: Here

Insecure, Uncreative Passwords

Passwords are integral to the security of many online services and applications. So when these passwords feel like the world’s out to get them, and that they just can’t create artistic works…

Oh, that’s not what the title means? Sorry.

To be frank, most people just don’t select passwords that are hard to guess, in order to better remember them. ‘abc123’ or ‘password’ are pretty simple, right?

To be me again, it’s also really really stupid to pick things like that. You’re just asking to be infiltrated, particularly if that password spans multiple sites. So when you go crying to everyone, shouting a cacophonous “OH MY GOD, I’VE BEEN HACKED!”, let me be the first to cram a king-sized mattress down your warbling gullet. (Sidebar: That is not an acceptable way to use the connotations of ‘hacking’, and don’t you forget it.)

Anyway, while berating you for your poor choice in security phrasing is entertaining, I’ll throw you a bone and offer up some more expressive and safe passwords:

  • Stevie1der (for music enthusiasts)
  • @-@ (for Star Wars Gurus)
  • R0kl0bster
  • $crapingBy (for exorbitant spenders)
  • MagicW&
  • y=!B639&ID[xWT*m4b+G)[f:if-&^5X},.|vU)j5

Additionally, you can do things like surrounding your password by brackets or parenthesis. You may also wish to incorporate characters that are usually untypeable without an ALT code. For instance, holding ALT and pressing the Numpad keys 0, 1, 6, 7 produces this: §

Finally, if it’s supported, who said you needed to stick to English? Personally, I’d say that something like 私は、アリッサをあきらめることはない would work pretty well.

Hop to it, or I’m readying the mattress!

Let Insecure, Uncreative Passwords Die

Photo Credits: Here
(Feel free to add any helpful additions in the comments.)