Category Archives: Language

Your Cries for Information not Concerning You


I’d like to remind the populace that when you overhear a conversation and feel the need to implant yourself in it by asking the talker to repeat what was last stated, stop for a moment. If you are reasonably sure you heard correctly, ask anyway, like a sane person. If you have misheard, that’s fine, let it drop. However, if the person decides not to tell you what was said, do not pester further. You will become an annoyance, usually for no reason. There’s a purpose for that conversation not having been directly aimed at you in the first place, it most likely doesn’t involve you. And even if it did, how much weight do you put on other people’s gossip? It would more likely hurt you than help you. Don’t be verbally nosy… or I’ll attempt to remove your nose, verbally. That probably involves a lot of screaming.


Your Cries for Information not Concerning You Need To Die.

Photo Credits: Here


Your Glibness, Used To Interrupt Someone


All I’m trying to get across is-yeah I got it.

No, you don’t, if you did you would be listening to the point I’m trying to mak-uh-huh.

Just listen a min-yeah.

DON’T TALK OV-Whatever, chillax.

ST-yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.

Your Glibness, Used To Interrupt Someone, Needs To-right.

Photo Credits: Her-yessir.

Title Reliance


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“Pleasant to see you again, Mr. Anderson!”

“Oh, no, please, Joe, call me Raul.”

“I’m sorry, I’d feel like I’d be offending you if I did, Dr. A!”

“I’m not a doctor. And it’s fine to call me by my given name…”

“Nope, you, Sir Anderson, shall be treated with the respect and admiration that you deserve!”

“Er, I’m also not a Knight from the days of yore, but, thank you, though I’d prefer-“

“Yes, Master Anderson Esquire the Second? I’m sorry, I was busy staring at your many medals, General, sir.”

MR. HARTWICK! Please call me by my given name!”

“…I’m watchin’ you, Anderson. Thin ice!”

*sigh*

Let Title Reliance Die

Photo Credits: Here

Your Reliance on and Overuse of a Single Word


I’m not sure if you wake up in the morning and this just happens, but you stupidly decide to use a stupid word a stupid number of times in your daily conversations and publications. Stupid as though you may be, this stupidity of a choice doesn’t even compare to how stupid you sound when people have to hear your stupid rambling. It’s a completely different level of stupid. You sound stupid, you begin to feel stupid, and you try and drop the whole stupid idea. But this is difficult. You have suddenly and stupidly become attached to the whole stupid mess. You could turn it into an idiosyncrasy, or at least a stupid-sounding catchphrase. The inability to stop this just shows the depth of your ridiculous stupidity.


Your Reliance on and Overuse of a Single Word Needs To Die, Stupid.

Photo Credits: Here

Ice-ning and Wudder


https://i0.wp.com/farm3.static.flickr.com/2127/2041306772_a95c35db24.jpgFor a day that’s all about food, it seems only fitting to nitpick on the pronunciations on some of these simple items.

When you’re making a cake, or, heck, even a cupcake, what does one put on top of it? Gee, that’s tricky. Sprinkles? Before that. Pudding? Nah. Icing? Why, yes, dear sir, have some caviar in the back room and make yourself comfortable.

What icing is not, however, is the curious combination of the word “ice” and the noise “ning”. That’s not a real thing. So don’t say it. Ever. Now, go lick edible elements from the gutters outside, peon.

Okay, here’s an easier one. You ready? Good. Wah. Ter. Water. That basic thing that everyone needs to live. Simple, huh? Oh, English, such a tame beast now.

What water is not would be an udder with the attachment of a ‘w’ on the beginning of it. Unless you’re breeding specialty cows, I don’t wanna hear about wudders. Got it?

Good. Happy Thanksgiving, to my American friends.

And to everyone who speaks English: Say things correctly. Thanks.

Let Ice-ning and Wudder Die

Photo Credits: Here

Struggling To Hear What Someone Has Said


https://i0.wp.com/www.jeffthomascobb.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/listen_000001026615XSmall.jpgMnaxr kalmp pahstrick!

I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you?

I said, philaltr cuhluhmnp bahtweck!

Errr…one more time?

UGH. I said fanri malhalus txiwis!

Still not getting it, sorry.

WLHPY HDAKTME MLEALPYKS!

The only appropriate thing to do at this point is smile and nod.

Even though they just said “You ran over a small child”.

Let Struggling To Hear What Someone Has Said Die

Photo Credits: Here

Fustrating


What do you describe something as when it’s aggravating beyond all means of measure? Or when it’s annoying to the point of ridiculousness? Or when it’s irritating in its incompleteness or inability to be finished? Or when it uses too many examples without making a point making the reader wade through leagues of unnecessary text that simply serves as a palate-pleaser until the real meat of the article arrives?

Well, for one thing, it’s not ‘fustrating’. Because, you see, fustrating isn’t a word. Now I think we both know the word I mean is ‘frustrating’, and that I’m not picking on poor spelling here. I’m annoying at people who can’t manage to pronounce frustrating correctly, dropping the first ‘r’ entirely.

Can you say the word fur? Good. Fur-us-ter-a-ting. Don’t worry, kid, soon you’ll be able to crush together that ‘fur’ to make the appropriate and correct ‘frrr’ sound, but we’ll settle for this for now.

Get on the ball, man, it’s only been 37 years that you’ve been speaking this way. Plenty of time left to figure it out, I suppose. You sicken me.

Let Fustrating Die

Photo Credits: Here