Category Archives: Uncategorized

Typing The Next Great Literary Epic (Or Other Long Work) Using Nothing But A Cell Phone

Because thumbs, too, can receive repetitive motion injuries. That, and legendary depictions of heroes of yore typically aren’t made in ASCII-art.

(Sent from my phone using the Android WordPress app. Yes, I’m a bit of a hypocrite. It happens.)

Let This Extraordinarily Long-Titled Thing Die


Twist-Off Lids That Cause Injury

From the soda bottles using the tiny, smooth raised bump caps that are impossible to open, to the Gatorade bottle ridges that skin one’s palm and are impossible to open, and finally to the infamous stuck pickle jar lid that causes muscular discomfort and may take away one’s man card and are, also, impossible to open….lids can be tricky. And I don’t mean hats.

The screw is a simple machine that allows one to exert less force over a greater distance to achieve the same result. So twisting that cap off a jug is easier that trying to cleave plastic from sugary goodness using only your bare hands.

So, even though I’m down a man card, I have a household tip to dispense: If you encounter a nigh non-removable lid, wrap a rubber band around the lid, then twist. 3 out of 5 times, it’ll be effective. Else you may need to use the other, more well-known tricks of hot water and the ever-fun “smashing the lid against hard surfaces”.

Y’know, to “loosen” it. Not to vent. Clearly.

Let Twist-Off Lids That Cause Injury Die

Photo Credits: Here
Let it be known that I did not look up this technique before posting, I actually did know it prior. Woo-hoo.

Plinky Answer Test: Fearing The Decline Of Modern Writing

I’ve only recently become aware of the fear that I have for the decline in writing these days. I’m only one person, and as such may be helpless to stop the masses, but I’m determined to write correctly for as long as I am conscious, even if I’m seen as archaic or wordy for doing so.

This fear is quite severe, and I’m probably going to be washed away by it in the near future. However, I won’t be going without a fight.

Blog Update: Absence, Part Two

I have multiple college visits to attend to this weekend, and one of them is overnight. Even though the fanbase is little right now, I thought it’d be a good idea to let you know what I’m up to. So, basically, I won’t be able to make any posts this weekend. I’ll be back on Monday with some rip-roaring new content, though.

Thanks for your patience. And rest assured that post quality will get better when I grab some free time.

You, Memory

Loading... -1%

I’m not talkin’ gigabytes.

I’m upset with you. You forgot the name of that person I called out to last week. Boy, the look “Jim” had on her face. You don’t always come through in the clutch. Takin’ SAT’s? Let’s play an awful pop song in my head OVER AND OVER. Taking notes on a lecture? Wait, what was that last one? Let’s worry about it! Ack, now I didn’t catch what the prof said next! OH NO, MY INTERNAL HEAD VOICE IS DROWNING OUT ALL SOUND!

Memory, you make me look foolish. Sometimes you lose something that I should know offhand, or you forget the end to that really awesome joke. Maybe you forget to turn the oven off, or even forget the baby. And what I need to tell you is, it’s not either of our faults. We now live in a society that does not need to remember, does not WANT to remember, information. With Google and Wikipedia, we have information documented and accessible. This is an okay thing, a marvel even. But it’s making us lazy. Memory, we need to make a conscious effort to remember. We need to relearn how to remember our Social Security numbers, our coworkers’ names, and the way we spell words in our blog posts.

If we work together to notice the important things, memory, we’ll make for a better me. I know you have the storage capacity.

Not that we won’t encounter trubble a long teh wai sumtymes.

You, Memory, Need to Upgrade. Maybe with Omega-3. Wait, or does that make you skinnier? Oh, Gingko Biloba! Wait, wasn’t that debunked a week ago? Maybe…no…grr…

Photo Credits: Matthias Kulka / zefa / Corbis (found Here)

Your Willful Rejection and Ignorance of My Intellect

Special thanks to my favorite intelligent people for this one.

You don’t know me. You are an entity apart from my imagination and my ideas. And yet you want to control me. Guide my actions. Force me to be…


But when normal consists of people like you receiving money and attention for being a vapid waste of space on TV, I don’t want to be normal. I’ve contributed to society, while you’ve got a fanbase of ten thousand plus for being 16 and pregnant. I’ve got real friends, ideas, and goals. And you seek to normalize them.

People of a higher thinking capability and societal understanding aren’t well appreciated. The people who seek to advance the world into new ages are overshadowed by enormous wastes of time, space, and news:


Gifted children sometimes go unrecognized because they are diagnosed with a “disease” instead. The teenagers who hold some semblance of being intelligent are expected to pick up the slack of countless dipwads. The adults with ideas and creativity are shouted down by people who don’t want to understand or simply, by those who can’t; they are jealous. And some people with truly important ideas are never heard, because the rampaging idiots want to make them…normal. My generation doesn’t necessarily reflect my values. My behavior doesn’t necessarily represent my state of mind. And whose fault is all of this?


You broke the educational system by stifling creativity.  You shunned people for performing to the best of their abilities. You value academics very little. You shout and bellow to get your ill-conceived point across; my voice is heard only by those smart enough to hear it, to really know what I mean. I am part of the minority. Too many people like me feel frustrated and upset because we are right. We are in a position to actually make a difference and to correct world problems. And what’s stopping us from achieving and realizing our full potential?


Your Willful Rejection and Ignorance of My Intellect Needs To Die.

And for those of you with me on this issue, please leave a comment. Some of us need to know that we’re not alone.

Photo Credits: Gary Larson (found here)

Procrastination…I’ll get to it later.

Alright, fine, I’ll do this. But I don’t wanna.

Sadly, the attitude emphasized by the above is commonplace for many in society. People will put things off until they must be done, and then hurriedly and haphazardly attempt to accomplish what they’ve put off. Sure, the job gets done, but this mindset puts a chokehold on true progress.

From a “History Of The Earth” standpoint, we’re only here for an enormously brief amount of time. I’m not saying that one cannot accomplish great things in this time span – all of us can and some of us do. However, those that are more inclined to take a lackadaisical approach to life are not likely to realize their full potential. Every human being is unique, in their talents, abilities, disabilities, thoughts, manners, actions, and personality. Keeping yourself from discovering the extent of each of those qualities may make you regret not doing so.

I’m not saying I’m perfect, if you found me to be a bit of an elitist back there. I really desire to learn Flash, Cinema 4D, or some other graphic design tool, but have I experimented much beyond simple tutorials? Nope. Also, I put learning that stuff aside for days, weeks, even months at a time, in order to squeeze out a few more hours of play. Sure, things are fun now, but won’t I be in a better position to be well-employed if I take the time to learn those programs?

Life isn’t fair. Some will coast along on money provided by others, some will endlessly wander the streets just looking for something to eat. Even if you are living comfortably, I don’t believe that one should ever quit looking to do more. Follow your dream, no matter how crazy it may be! Want to make digitally enhanced covers for songs where the only instrument is the bagpipe? Try! You’ll learn something about yourself, and may benefit others in the process.

I know I sound like an aggregate of every motivational poster ever, but what I’m trying to say is simple.

If you work hard, you’ll be fulfilled and lead a richer, dynamic life.

If you put things off, you may not end up being the person you wished to become.

Let Procrastination Die

Photo Credits: Here