Your Swagger


For those of you who have mastered walking, you shouldn’t abuse it. Walking is the human transportation system, designed to most effectively get our bodies from point A to point B under our own power. I’m not advocating that you hand-stand walkers stop what you’re doing; that stuff is pretty neat. I’m saying that you dull-faced buffoonish bores need to stop walking like gravity’s effect is somehow greater on you. You lead with your pelvis, swing your arms everywhere, and take stutter steps in order to hold your drooping pants up. I hate when you walk this way. Why? Well, firstly, you’re slow. I’m trying to get somewhere, and you insist on blocking my path with a walk that is as sluggish as it is ridiculous. Secondly, you think you look cool. I have no idea where your misconception originated from. And lastly, having “swagger” is not a marketable job skill, nor is it important, endearing, helpful, or meaningful. It just means you like looking stupid when you walk.

I’ll bet you’d stop “walking” if your pants fell down. Then you’d have to explain how your swagger is a compensation tool.

Your Swagger Needs to Die

Photo Credits: Here


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