Category Archives: Other

Tangled Earbuds

Nothing beats relaxing in style – and music can certainly help! So what could be better than taking tiny orbs connected by some thin cabling and JAMMING them in your ears to hear the sound? It’s a one-of-a-kind experience, of course! Just, try not to puncture an eardrum during all that. Wouldn’t want to damage the equipment, now would we?

Problem is, when you’re done with these small implants, what do you do with them? Unplug them from your device of choice and ball them up in some fashion, right? During that, you assume that it’s completely harmless – I mean, they’re just sitting there lazily, doing nothing of importance (much like a certain blog author who insists that he writes on a semi-daily basis)! What dilemma could they ever present?

The very next day, you arrive back at the fabled spot of electronic discard, ready to use these earpieces for another bout of stress-relieving. But lo! for this contraption now has more tangles than an adolescent girl’s bedhead! More mats than a shaggy dog’s fur! More ties than a successful businessman! More knots than a fast-moving sea vessel!

And so you take the next two, three, six minutes, assuming a role as a reverse Boy Scout, trying your darndest to get your gear back in working, streamlined order, thinking all the while that there must be a better way.

Come to think of it — why isn’t there one?

Let Tangled Earbuds Die

Photo Credits: Here


Stylish Gum Packages

That’s right! These oddly patterned, chewing-medium holders are sure to compliment hipsters of all sizes! They’ll match perfectly with your other essentials, like hairbrush covers, scarf tassles, and berets.

Thanks, Orbit gum. No, no, really.

Let Stylish Gum Packages Die

Photo Credits: Here

Unexpected Visitors

“Ask not for whom the doorbell tolls – it tolls for thee.”

At least, some days it certainly seems like it. Are-you-sure-you-didn’t-order-a-pizza this, notice-proclaiming-that-your-package-can’t-be-delivered-until-you-pick-it-up-because-you-were-in-the-bathroom-at-the-time-of-the-delivery that…those instances can really ruin the flow of a day. Yet, these are not the worst random events that can wander their way on to your doorstep. The unnannounced guests take that top (or, rather, bottom) spot.

Panic mode. Not only do you have to try and appear peaceable to these intruders, but, for the lesser-backboned, simple entertaining duties become an additional chore. Would you like to imbibe some of my precious household resources? Sorry, that doesn’t come in “Diet”. And yes, I’d love to talk about your medical experiences involving sliding on a puddle of pus, but I really do need to finish this tax return. No, no, I don’t want help. And no, I can’t list you as a dependent.

At least there’s that overwhelming sense of relief when the offending party leaves. What’s unfortunate is that there shouldn’t have been any stress in the first place. So please, interested visitors to my and others’ abodes: Call first.

And if you track anything in, don’t make me clean it up.

Let Unexpected Visitors Die

Photo Credits: Here

Black vs. Deep Navy Blue

In optimum lighting, it’s somewhat easy to tell apart black and navy blue, especially when the two colors are presented next to each other.

So, for reasons the world only knows, one most often must determine the color of such vestments in the early morning when one’s running late, in the dark, and is searching through that week’s “lightly used” pile of clothes that were supposed to be laundered days before. Eye-strain and mental worry overcome the subject, forcing them into quickly determining if socks, shoes, sirt, jacket, pants, belt, and other accessories match before heading out the door.

As the subject enters the workplace, he is ribbed, playfully smacked, jostled, and reprimanded. That’s right – he is all black and blue.

Let Black vs. Deep Navy Blue Die

Photo Credits: Here

Contused Grocery Carts

Ah, the grocery store, a place of Wonder™. It seems like it has All™ you need in a nice, row-by-row design. Large enough to Shout™ in, and yet still small enough to feel friendly.

Anyway, we humans figured out that, hey, we can’t really carry a lot at a time without some fierce ingenuity or tool-based assistance. Opting for the latter, the grocery cart was born! Well, the wheel and other things sorta came before that, but, stay with me here. The grocery cart allows people to easily and effectively put stuff in it and push it around. Magic!

Well, that’s how it should work, anyway. But no, carts never seem to get moved out of the rotation. Nor are there any really identifiable “lightly used” ones that the average person could quickly identify. Nope, most of the time one is stuck with the luck of the draw. Problem is bad luck seems to happen more often than good. Maybe your cart squeaks every time you turn. Maybe the plastic piece on the handle is broken and is jabbing you in the hands. Worst of all is when one or more wheels are somehow too tight to move around and skid perpendicular to the direction you’re currently heading.

Let’s give it up for convenience! Instead of telling someone about the issue (which probably wouldn’t get too far anyway, but hey, worth a shot), or even try out the cart before loading it with stuff and then choosing a better one, most of us plow through with the contraption, doing our best to keep the chrome and plastic beast in our reins.

At least it didn’t spontaneously combust. Then those poor freezer items would be ruined!

Let Contused Grocery Carts Die

Photo Credits: Here

That Person Who Laughs Too Long At Everything

Yes, yes, the joke was funny. Alright. Calm down now. It’s too soon to have a laugh echo about it, everyone else moved on a few minutes ago. That weedy/bellowing/sinusy/throaty/garbled noise you’re making is just too much. People are staring. How about you take a breather, way over there, and let the conversation continue.


Let That Person Who Laughs Too Long At Everything Die

Photo Credits: Here

Poker Chip Clicking Just stop. I just wanna watch people play cards with way-too-cheery commentators talking about the “action” while I try to sleep on my couch with the sickness of insomnia at 2 in the morning. What I do not want is all that pestering noise that assails my eardrums when you take those small betting discs and smash them together in every way imaginable. That infernal clicking noise was fine, almost novel when you’re actually making an action, but continuing through the down-time? Even when you’re not in the current hand? That verges on the point of mental disorder if you need to keep that up.

I’d recommend a stress ball or something. That’s a lot quieter. Perhaps you could just use your nose for all chip-related actions?

A lot less people would go ‘all-in’ then.

Let Poker Chip Clicking Die

Photo Credits: Here